Josh Blue, a stand up comedian with cerebral palsy and some great talent. Now here is an excuse to laugh at a disabled person, and possibly not go to hell for it… check it.
Nation divided we stand on the health care issue… well nation divided we stand on all issues. I’m yet to see the nation stand united in any matter. I guess it all boils down to the root, i.e. self entitlement, few realize that their point of view is worth a squat unless they are in the higher spheres of the society, and I will bet my boots that no one reading this can say I belong to the high class. Simple fact, high class individuals call their orders from their yachts and probably don’t browse Chimbles.com
So we have this issue of universal health care, funny business it is. I’m yet somewhat stunned that anyone would get up and shout “I want to pay through the ass for healthcare, I’m a American and thats my God given right.” I’m not going to even go and dissect that sentence and tell you whats wrong with it… would be a waste of time, and megahertz of Chimbles.com
The biggest arguments given by the… well uneducated rednecks who mostly get their health care subsidized by the government is that 1) “I don’t want to pay government for health care” 2) “See the long lines to clinics and Canada?” or “My cousin over there yonder in England had a splinter in his finger went to a doctor and had to wait so long for X ray it done and killed him.”
1) “I don’t want to pay government for health care” - So you rather line the pockets of private fat cats out there? I know that government is not that good with managing monies, but either way they do it will still be better than 100’s of insurance companies out there, playing favorites with their chummy friends at the hospital. Ever heard of synergy, or streamlining everything? One health care accepted everywhere. Your redneck butt wont have to waste so much gas driving your tractor around the county trying to find a hospital that is in your network. And then when your hospitalization is done with, you wouldn’t be surprised by those random bills that show up in your mailbox… ohh sorry that was not covered sir!
2) “See the long lines to clinics and Canada?” or “My cousin over there yonder in England had a splinter in his finger went to a doctor and had to wait so long for X ray it done and killed him.” - Lets get the obvious out of the way first: 1) You haven’t seen those lines either 2) You don’t have a cousin in England as your family tree never branched out of deep south… or even your farm so shut it! So now we are pretending that we don’t have waits with privatized health care now? Please, not only you have to wait till your busy doctor finds a spot in the appointment book, but you have to go through 3 huge ass books, and/or call your insurance just to make sure the doctor you want to see is covered.
So once again U.S. lets go all redneck once again (remember W. Bush?) and shoot ourself in the foot. Farmers, and lazy people still will have insurance by government, with you unknowingly carrying them on your shoulders, be happy and pay your employer to provide health care… after all it seems like its FREE right? Durr durr
You know me, I’m real anal about stuff… so I got an idea for another post by just sitting there in traffic, counting cars with only drivers in it… and lo and behold, something else grabbed my attention. It was the influx of stickers that read:
I giggled… after all why would I be influenced by a sticker on a dirty car to buy something? And which America are they talking about? plus I’m not quite sure what quality product Mexico exports into here? Thousands of questions and no answer… thus I was lost in my own thoughts, only to be interrupted by the radio, securely duct taped to the handlebars of my moped. It was National Public Radio, and definitely not by choice, but the dial was stuck on that frequency ever since I found the radio unit on the side of the road. I wonder why would someone throw it out?Regardless of the point, the radio was babbling about the falling price of the dollar. The good old greenback no longer green enough for us supposedly. Tough luck, I have thought while shifting the moped from 2nd to 3rd and gaining insane speeds.
But wait a minute, falling prices could be good after all. Didn’t people complain like little wusses that they are that our exports are weak because of the dollar. Well, perhaps not to many regular people complained as the grasp on economy, and geographics of the fact that there are other countries outside our borders are quite minimal amongst the general population… so it was more of scholars and politicians that blamed problems on low exports. Something about money leaving the U.S… I forget, but now they got their wish, and there is even more crying about it.But long story short, I thought to myself… well now exports will be booming and more money will enter the market and thus more jobs etc etc. Well two things that irked me, was 1) U.S. made products are not made in U.S. 2) WTF do we produce that is useful, and others would need?
To answer irk number 1: well it’s a known fact that most of corporations that are incorporated in U.S. actually utilize foreign markets to build products. Remember that whole fiasco about Made In U.S.A. tools that turned out to only have that sticker put on stateside, while the rest was built using foreign purchased goods, by foreign hands on foreign land! Redneck don’t know, he will only look at the sticker and buy a tool smiling all the way back to the trailer park.
Irk #2: I came out with a list of popular items that are supposedly manufactured in U.S.A. Now, I don’t know if they are really manufactured here, and I dont care to do the research to find out, but for the sake of the argument lets just assume they are. So here is just a few that were on my mind: Cigarettes (especially Marlboro), McDonalds, Soda Pop, Army equipment (Abram, jests, etc.) Now I’m sure some of you will be like “Well Chimbles did you know that U.S. is the largest producer and exporter of Chydrocloridefenguside?” No, I did not know that and I do not care. I’m talking about everyday products that most of people would come in contact with. Well, I hope you dont come in contact with Abrams tanks, but what you do is your own business.
Do you see what I’m aiming at? Most of the products that we manufacture are utter crap. Cigarettes kill, Soda gives you tooth decay, McDonalds kills too, only the army jets are nice enough to drop care packages. Is it me, or is it clearly evident that this whole dollar drop wont do crap but put us in further depression. Heck U.S. cant even put out product out there that would not try to kill it’s users. And then we see everyone with their mouths gaped open, and scratching heads, why U.S. has such a bad rep out there.So be patriotic, buy U.S. made… do U.S. all a favor and crap out just after your productivity starts to decline, the society will appreciate not paying your retirement and Social Security.
Back by popular demand! (I knew you would like)
ENJOY!
I’m not quite sure if I’m happy or disappointed with this. After all “America #1″ is shouted by every redneck out there… America you say Billy Bob? Not sure what Mexico is #1 in for. However I do suspect that Canada in number 1 in exporting timber or pulp maybe. Does that also include south America? I will never figure it out. All I know is that U.S.A lost the number one spot.
Australia pips US as world’s fattest nation
June 20, 2008AUSTRALIA has overtaken the United States as the world’s most obese nation, a new report says.
The report, Australia’s Future Fat Bomb, says 26 per cent of adult Australians - almost 4 million people - are now obese, 1 million more than the last calculation in 1999.
The findings mean Australia is the world’s most overweight nation, ahead of the notoriously super-sized Americans, who have a 25 per cent obesity rate.
“That, unfortunately, makes us the heavyweight champions, a title we don’t really want,” said Professor Simon Stewart, the author of the report and head of preventive cardiology at the Baker IDI Heart and Diabetes Institute in Melbourne.
The report says that 9 million adults have a body mass index over 25, making them overweight or obese, an increase from 7 million. Experts have called for obese people to be given gym discounts and for surgical waiting lists to be prioritised on the basis of weight loss.
The report presents the results of height and weight checks on 14,000 adult Australians nationwide in 2005, giving the most thorough picture of obesity since the AusDiab study in 1999.
The data suggests there will be an extra 700,000 heart-related hospital admissions in the next 20 years due to obesity. Almost 125,000 people will die as a result.
“I would regard this as the biggest threat to our future health,” Professor Stewart said.
“As we send our athletes off to the Olympics, let’s reflect on the fact that we would win the gold medal now in the world fat Olympics if there was such a thing.
“The health care system is going to be overwhelmed by weight-related hospitalisations from knee replacements through to heart attacks and strokes.”
AAP
It’s quite sad, I mean how are we suppose to muscle around the world now if we can’t carry the weight. on the lighter note Australians are still our allie, that is until we piss them off somehow. Kinnda weird, that the Hard Working Resident of U.S. got beat by some son of a convict.
To be honest i really though we had this category on the lock down. It’s a fact that our Army is no longer #1, as they are going sloppy. (Yes, it’s a fact… don’t argue… not my fault that deep south didn’t get a memo on this one… OK we may still have the #1 spot in the citizen militia category).I do think however that soon we may be taking over the lead in the Education category, for cranking out the dumbest people to walk the earth, and spending billions of dollars doing that… to think about it that should be two categories in itself out there… not sure what the second one would be.
So people, pick up the slack!! Gyms are just there to take your money! Who ever heard of paying to sweat and work, it should be the other way around. Skip the gym and super size it. Where else in the world would you be able to get a tasty burger for a dollar? What an you get for a dollar now? Nothing… well the delicious McChicken or a Double Cheesburger… thats two meats!!
There is still hope, from the article it seems that it was just few crappy studies, perhaps they just got it wrong… lets hope.
Lets show the world what we are all about! Super Size
There is a time each year in where the employed ones have a chance to shine. Thus came the time in our pet stores for self evaluation. The time where managers still continue to do nothing, and push all the work on the worker bees, even when its time to evaluate their performance. Who ever came out with a concept of self evaluation must have been one lazy bastard, and who ever think that worker bees understand the philosophical concept of self evaluation is twice as dumb. We know, it has nothing to do with building our skills, it;s just a way for the lazy ones to do even less work, and then proceed to copy and paste self evaluations as their evaluations and send it off to HR.
Q: List your accomplishments made during the evaluation period make sure to include goals reached, problem resolution, difficult special assignments.
A: I feel like I have reached many goals while employed at Gold Fish Pet Store. One of the goals was to come to work on time, and I believe I have made an improvement of .2 percent over the annual period. Another goal I have reached was to sell the dying off pets first. At first I had a moral issue with it, but I do come to realize my mistakes, and happily joined the corporate world by providing customer with the most crappy product we had in stock… I also did it with a smile. I did cry myself to sleep over that on multiple occasions, but thats outside of work hours and should not be used in this evaluation.
- The goal above is to show that you are sensitive, and able to meet self set goals. Also, it is important to bullshit that you are eye to eye with company’s unwritten procedures so they will see you as a valuable team member.
I have a lot of problems, most of which are still to be resolved. However I do keep a list of my problems on a piece of paper I like to call a suicide note.
- Warning this is a trick question. Any way you answer will be a wrong way. be creative as you like!
One difficult special assignment was when the kibble 40 foot trailer arrived at 4 a.m. and my co worker Joe was nowhere in sight. I have managed to unload the trailer before the opening at 9 a.m. I have stuffed the hand truck very high and everytime it tipped spilling the product the truck driver laughed, but I kept my cool because the temperature was just 5 degrees outside. Also, once I came in to work with only an hour of notice from my manager who stopped by my house on his way to the beach to tell me to go in and man the registers… this time I answered the door when he was knocking… I needed the money.
- Here is your chance to describe how you went above and beyond, whatever that means; but I dont think it applies about being high on the job. Tell them how retarded strong you are, DO NOT tell them about all the times you spend an hour in the bathroom stall reading a magazine. Subtly mention that you need more money in hopes of getting a raise.
List roadblocks you have encountered during work which have prevented you from successfully meeting goals such as limited resources, skill deficiencies, time constraints…
Once on my way to work we have hit a construction site and the bus had to take a detaur. Given the fact that it was a new driver we got lost on the way and circled the same block 3 times. I blame the driver and construction workers for this one.
- This is a trick question again! Pretend to misunderstand the question is your best options. Under no circumstances mention any names here… they will turn around and report you to the police for having a kill list. remember this is U.S.A. we love each other very much. Do not admit that you have any deficiencies either, they will only quote the same reasons when they fire your ass for shaking teh pepsi machine and stealing the goods.
List items that can help you enhance/improve your performance and overall contribution to the company. Please include what your supervisor can do to help you do your job better.
I believe new Nike sneakers would make me more effective in the stock room, then I would be able to turn around quicker, climb the ladder quicker, and stock kibble even higher than before. New Balance sneakers would be my second choice. Also, a Blackberry would be an improvement, as then I would be able to contact other stores, be put on hold and check the their stock balance, probably before the customer leaves the store all upset.
-This is your chance to make demands. You wont get a raise if you don’t ask for it! Make sure to make it seem that it will benefit them more than it would benefit you!
List specific objectives you plan to accomplish over the next year.
My specific objectives is to increase my kibble stocking time from 3 bags a minute to 4.5 bags.
- Once again this allows you to be creative, its not like they will help you in any way to reach YOUR objectives on company time. Also a good answer would be: To become an astronaut!
Comments
please put 2 ply in the stalls, the cardboard that is currently there could cause an injury.
- This is the time to show them who is the boss. Don’t be overly aggressive, but don’t be a wuss. Even if you are fine with the lack of TP still make up something to point out where they fail… this will make you feel better when they list things you fail at.
GOAL ACCOMPLISHED!
There is a reason why I love soccer, and it’s not because of Ronaldino, or Robert Baggio it’s because people in U.S. do not like soccer. Weird you say? Not weird at all… think about this what do you see in the bleachers during American Football, Baseball, or NASCAR? Bunch of rednecks, and more specifically the ugliest of the ugly crawl from under the rocks to wear their stained shirt and display the lack of teeth.
Sure, people may call you gay when you tell them you enjoy soccer… but who is really gay, you sitting in the bleachers squeezed in between two hot eastern European hotties, or them sitting in between Rusty and toothless Billie Sue? Joke is on them… lets proceed:
Another Monday another start of the week, same problems, same stress.
Check out how this guy deals with stress at work… I guess he couldn’t find the cover sheet for his TPS report.
Have a splendid week!
Yyyyyyooooooouuuuuuuuuu!!!
Relating back to my post about drugs… check out this video of a crazy tripping out on something and picking on an elderly lady… today’s youth at its finest! Don’t worry she got hers at the end twice.
I do give props to the old lady for remaining cool… I bet she has seen a lot in her life.
‘Soulja Girl’ Arrested; Mom Says She’s Bipolar. - WSBTV Atlanta. BiPolar, my butt, that disorder doesn’t manifest itself in crazy Soulja Girls outbursts… someone snorted too much of baking soda and then got their ass whooped on the subway for talking smack thats all. Too bad that sightings like this are just too common today, take a ride on a train and be prepared to be entertained or scared or both at the same time.
Heres her brother making excuses… well more of a damage control, he doesn’t want anyone to sue the family and take away his keyboard. Maybe he should sell it and get his sister to the methadone clinic.
“…happy thought aight! Have a good one!”
Aight yo, happy thoughts… let’s feel sorry for your sister, while the old lady sits in her home afraid to go outside… Who do you want me to believe is the victim here? Who’s the next victim, or will it always be your sister?
Take responsibility.
